so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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