i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
