i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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