Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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