apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
