the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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