so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize