Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
