I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
