May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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