I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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