A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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