So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
my shit smells like andre
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
