Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize