after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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