I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I stole a fireplace last night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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