What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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