sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
