I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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