Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize