So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
