I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
