singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
