I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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