Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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