I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
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You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
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Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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