It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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