I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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