I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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