Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
my liver is dry heaving
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
