bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If I die, sorry about rent.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Drunk is a universal language darling
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
