is your mom at the bar?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
