Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize