You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
