I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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