those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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