she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
