90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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