Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
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I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
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I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.