Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
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