We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
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Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke