Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.