Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
areolas are like halos for boobs.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
