I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
