I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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