Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Randomize
