Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
