My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
