At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
