On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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