so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
