New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
