did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she told me i tasted like america
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
