She is in my trunk
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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