I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
