So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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