Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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