My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
