Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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