Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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