just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
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